The Beginning
by technofever
Summary: From Invitation Only . This is the scene from Josh's POV on the train heading back to Easton, and the early development of his feelings towards Reed.


So I know this isn't a VA fic or an update to my other story _Time Immemorial_ (for those who subscribed to author alert) but I just had to write a _Private_ one-shot from Josh's POV, _had to. _:) It's a really good series, and I recommend you guys read it. I'm sure I'll update for my other story after exams are done but for now, heres a taste of something new.

**Disclaimer: Kate Brian pwns this. But I will take credit for some of Josh's original thoughts? ;) **

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I watched her. Watched her as she lay the right side of her temple gently on the glass window. She seemed to be so deep in thought, that she didn't seem to notice me watching her intently from across the seat a bit further up from her.

As I sat there, I wondered what she was seeing through that window. Was she seeing a world that she wished one day she could be a part of? Did it remind her of her own home back in Pennsylvania? Or was she finally realizing that within its beauty and wealth, it held a life that was merely a mirage from the outside…

All I knew was that out of the hundreds of times that I have been to New York and seen its beautiful world pass me by through the window, I've never appreciated looking at it as much as I did right now. With Reeds flowing brown hair resting on her shoulders and her blue eyes moving as they followed the trees passing by, one by one. And the sun. The sun just about rising behind the tall buildings, casting a glow on her soft features. It truly was an image.

I forced myself to look away, but I found I could not. Reed finally shifted her eyes from the window and began to look around the train, as if she too, realized that she had been hypnotized. I quickly turned back around, hoping that she didn't catch me staring at her and realized that my breathing was laboured from the rush.

This was so wrong. Thomas is my best friend. I shouldn't be looking at his girlfriend that way, especially after everything he has done for me in the past. No. I was going to let my admiration for Reed at a minimum, at least, until Thomas comes back. _When_ he comes back, I decided I was going to stop this foolishness all together.

I sneaked one more glance behind me, before I would have to go back to officially ignoring these feelings for Reed.

There she was. But now she was no longer looking around the train in her observing way. She was looking at one person in particular. Natasha Crenshaw. I wondered why? Did something happen between the two of them at the party?

I wasn't able to further my questioning because before I knew it, I saw Reed cast her eyes downwards slowly in a deliberate way. Something about that small gesture made her look kind of sad, and I wondered if she was still thinking of Thomas.

Maybe I could go cheer her up. Possibly reassure her that… who was I kidding, I couldn't resist Reed any longer. I just had to talk to her. I stood up from my seat, making my way towards Reed, being careful not to wake up Whit; but from the looks and sounds of it, he was pretty much out for a while.

It took her a while to realize who was standing in front of her because she had to blink a few times before a small smile showed up on her beautiful face.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey. Mind if I…" I gestured to the empty seat beside her. A part of me was hoping she let me, but another part was telling me, _No! Stop falling for her while you still can. _

"No. Go ahead." She said without hesitation. There was no returning.

I sat down, letting out a sigh as I realized what I was doing to myself. I pushed my palms into my thighs, trying to hide the nervousness. Didn't I just promise myself a few minutes ago that I was going to keep my feelings for the girl at a minimum? Great. I couldn't even last two minutes.

I felt her looking at my one unbuttoned shirt and slightly loosened tie, when I realized that I hadn't said anything yet.

"So. Interesting night, huh?" I asked.

"Definitely. I would definitely say that," she replied. Hmm. I guess I misjudged that look she had on earlier, because she didn't seem _too_ upset over Thomas' absence.

"But no…Thomas." I said aloud.

I could see from the window that we were making a turn, and when it made a loud squeal, I couldn't help but chuckle when Reed sucked in a breath and held onto the seat in front of us. I gently touched her arm, trying to hide my smile before saying, " It's okay. Just a turn."

Her face shifted a little, and showed a hint of confusion when she said, "No. I know."

I was kind of confused as well with her reaction, but I decided that maybe she was once again thinking about something that had had happened at the Legacy last night.

"I'm sure he's okay," she said after a while.

I was starting to wonder how well Reed actually knew Thomas, because if she knew him as well as I did then she should probably expect him to be wasted out of his mind, in who knows where. Thomas' rebellious ways were definitely not new to any of us, but him not even making an appearance at the Legacy? Unheard of.

"Yeah. I'm sure he is," I said trying to convince Reed. Even myself.

"You know what? I don't want to talk about Thomas anymore," she said. Then quickly added, "I mean, I want him to be okay and everything, but to tell you the truth, I'm over him. He's off having his life, and that's fine. But it also means that I get to have mine."

Wow. I felt my eyebrows raise as she said those words. I felt a little flutter in my stomach. She really was something, being all mature and independent. It was kind of cute.

"Really?"

"Really" she said with a nod.

"That's very healthy of you," And very cute I might add, but I didn't.

"I think so." she said in a small voice.

And then she yawned. I could tell that she was exhausted. Heck, I was exhausted, but something about talking to Reed gave me an energy and excitement that I couldn't let go of just yet. Her eyes began to droop and her shoulders slumped as her head began to weigh down towards my shoulder.

"Tired?" I asked.

"Yeah. Kind of." She replied.

"Here." I moved my arm around her shoulder. Something I never thought I would do tonight, but was happy I had the chance to. I felt giddy inside, and at the same time trying to savour the simplicity and comfort of having her beneath my arm.

After a few seconds, she began to move her head around, searching for a comfortable spot on my shoulder. I cursed my rigid baseball arms for not giving her the comfort she needed, when I turned my head and saw the comfortable position in which Kiran was laying on Gage.

I nudged my arm, guiding her head to lay on my thigh and she easily obliged. She seemed to finally feel comfortable.

"Thanks," I barely heard her say.

"Not at all," I replied, trying not to let the smile on my face seep into my voice.

She immediately began to drift off, because other than the whispers coming from the girls at the back of the train--no doubt sharing stories from last night, and the repetitive rhythm of the trains steady movement, I could hear and feel her soft breathing on my leg.

I watched as her shoulders would go up and down slowly, as she breathed in and out each breath, and strands of her hair would slide towards her face from the movement of the train. Instantly, I felt my hand move forward to her face.

It hovered in the air, as I tried to process what I was about to do. When I let my fingertips ever so gently brush the traitor strands of hair to move it behind her ear, I felt her jaw move ever so slight with the contact, but then as soon as I felt it, it went away.

I looked out the window thinking about the happy emotions that sprung even with the littlest of contact I made with Reed. And how normal it felt for her to be lying down on my lap right now.

I slowly placed my head back on the headrest, all the while feeling like _this was just the beginning_.


End file.
